Mine couldn’t do that because they would double over coughing.Even as a kid, I resented that it was more important for my parents to smoke than it was for them to have their kids breathe clean air. When I was in my 20s both of my parents were diagnosed with cancer. But the doctors agreed that both of them smoked far too much for far too long.Growing up, our house was constantly flooded with the thick, blue haze of tobacco smoke. The walls and ceilings of our house were stained yellow. The smoke permeated our clothes, hair, and everything we owned. Then when we went to school, the other kids made fun of us for smelling like ashtrays.
After doing all that, I finally found the man of my dreams who wants everything I want – except he’s a smoker. But as I’ve said hundreds of times before, whatever you call a dealbreaker is a dealbreaker.
This says nothing about looks or humor or kindness or generosity or emotional intelligence or communication or the desire to commit – you know, the things that actually determine whether you’ll have a happy marriage. I know I’ve reduced an emotional decision to an exercise in statistics, but that’s largely because I’ve never seen a good way to issue an emotional argument to an emotional question.
Yet good luck asking a woman to compromise on any one of these things that she deems important. We can run down the reasons you object to him smoking – he’ll shorten his lifespan, he’ll taste like cigarettes, his clothes will smell, it’s disgusting, etc., but none of those things are subject to change as long as he smokes.
Even though we had a great childhood and our parents did love us deeply, I was still jealous of the kids whose parents didn’t smoke.
Their parents would get up and run foot races with them, and play tag, and go swimming with them.